Marriage is one of the most beautiful gifts given by God, and yet out of the marriage covenant come some of the most challenging obstacles.

About a year ago, I dove headfirst into bi-vocational ministry. As if my wife and I weren’t already up to our necks in things to do with three kids (and one on the way), the Lord lead me into a youth pastor/music pastor position.

“We can do it,” the two of us exclaimed, not really knowing just what that entailed.

I will be the first to say—and I know she agrees—that it’s not always been easy.

I often come in from work, ask her how her day has been, take a shower, then start more work.

When I have an event with our youth group, she is often the one who stays behind to do the work at home.

Sometimes, the look on her face tells me all I need to know about her day. Sometimes, I don’t even have to ask, but I still do.

This is not me saying I have it all figured out by any means, because I have a lot of work to do, but I do know what the word of God says about my wife and her value to Him.

Men often overlook the value of a virtuous wife (Proverbs 31). She is more precious than jewels; this is true but sometimes, her reactions can resemble a sharp blade rather than a smooth jewel.

Everything about a man’s character wants to rise up and retaliate. I’m certainly not immune; however, when we take a look at what God’s word says about the husband/wife relationship, we see the command from the Lord to “submit to one another out of reverence for Christ” (Ephesians 5:25) and to “love your wives as Christ loved the Church and gave himself up for her” (Ephesians 5:25).

When we really look into this, we see that we are called to love our wives in the midst of an argument not because they always deserve it, but because HE does.

Furthermore, we are called to love her “as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her.” If you look at that as the Lord intends, you will see that Christ gave himself up for us though we had hearts against him. (Romans 5:8)

Your wife will not always engage you in a way that warrants a natural, loving response—but you are called to love her anyway, not because she deserves it—but because God always does.

Husbands, we are called to love our wives in the storm, not just in the sunshine.

Coty Dunaway

My name is Coty Dunaway. I am a bi-vocational youth and music pastor. I have 4 kids and an awesome wife! Doing my best to intentionally serve the Lord with gladness.