Are you even a Dad?

If you haven’t clumsily caught your child after throwing them foolishly high in the air, are you even a Dad?

If you haven’t accepted a whimsical request from a child only to find out you’ve just completely undermined their mother, are you even a Dad?

If you haven’t pretended to be outraged that the baby changer is only found in the women’s bathroom while trying not to look a smug jerk passing your smelly baby over to your partner, are you even a Dad?

If you haven’t volunteered to carry one or more of your kids during a walk before instantly regretting it, are you even a Dad?

If you haven’t been praised by an old woman for merely taking care of your children without their mother, are you even a Dad?

If you haven’t been a victim of the statement, “They get that from you,” are you even a Dad?

If you haven’t actively encouraged rough play before getting an unforeseen blow to the crotch, are you even a Dad?

RELATED: Dads, You’ve Got to Protect Yourself From Your Kids

If you haven’t rolled a ball to your kid in the garden to see what foot they kick it with, are you even a Dad?

If you haven’t exposed your buttcrack to your neighbors trying to fit a car seat in, are you even a Dad?

If you haven’t Dad-danced to the horror of your kids, partner, and everyone on planet Earth, are you even a Dad?

If you haven’t blamed your children for everything you’re now a bit bad at, are you even a Dad?

If you haven’t indoctrinated your kids into liking your favorite sports team, are you even a Dad?

If you haven’t photographed one of your kids “drinking” from an empty beer bottle, are you even a Dad?

If you haven’t gone to the wrong door during the school pick-up, are you even a Dad?

If you haven’t bored your friends with stories about your offspring when drunk in some dive nightclub, are you even a Dad?

If you haven’t downplayed how perilous something ridiculous you just did with the kids was to the mother of your children, are you even a Dad?

RELATED: Dear Wife: I’m Sorry For Taking You For Granted

If you haven’t flooded the bathroom when in charge of bathtime, are you even a Dad?

If you haven’t gotten stuck in some sort of soft play apparatus, are you even a Dad?

If you haven’t shouted at your kids in a completely nonsensical way and realized you’ve turned into your own father, are you even a Dad?

If you haven’t started a ridiculously complicated LEGO set only for your kid to lose interest and you to carry on regardless, are you even a Dad?

If you haven’t spent extra long taking the recycling out just to give yourself a break, are you even a Dad?

If you haven’t ever looked at your children and said to yourself, “How the f**k did I play a part in creating something so marvelous?” are you even a Dad?

Secret Dad Lad

Dad attempting to keep this parenting thing as light-humoured as possible. When I use really big swear words in posts I use plenty of **s, don't worry.